she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
