No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I can't turn off my feet"
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
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