I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
All I want is dick and wine.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
