Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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