problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
