it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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