That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
