I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
