A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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