I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
