just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize