im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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