I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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