they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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