VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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