So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
How external is "for external use only"?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize