You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
