I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
