We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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