...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
