considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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