I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Will exercising make me less horny?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
