I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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