I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You smell like stripper and shame
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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