is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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