nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
