Do you still have your period?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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