i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
