So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
