i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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