How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
she peed on how many people?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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