Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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