i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
