are you still at the devil's house?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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