Its about making memories worth repressing
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
