She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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