physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
