I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
