So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize