why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
