i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
This baby is an asshole
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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