yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize