I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
