Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
