Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
pray to the hookup gods
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
