he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
