Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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