Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Randomize
