I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
you would pick up someone in the library
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
3 2 1 whiskey
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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