You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
