Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
