it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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