i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
This house was built for laser tag.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
