I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
