i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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