Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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