with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
