Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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