if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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