the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
