Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
