At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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