you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Randomize