spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
