she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm bleeding and have questions
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
