I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I could make wine with my vomit
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
