I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
