We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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