i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
