At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You dont lie about slip and slides
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize