Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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