I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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