I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize