We're like a lot better than the average bears
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
