But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
