too bad you live with your parents still
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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