it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
